Today is April 6th, 2019 exactly one year since the crash. Tomorrow is Green Shirt Day, in honour of you. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully express the pain I feel in my heart. Some days it feels like years since I’ve seen you. Other days it feels like seconds. Exactly one year ago I received the worst news I will ever receive. Exactly one year ago tomorrow, I had to say goodbye to my best friend. Exactly one year ago tomorrow, I started a new difficult journey. Exactly one year ago tomorrow, you saved 6 lives. Exactly one year ago tomorrow, you sparked a movement to create change a save millions more. Tomorrow we will wear green to celebrate you and to remind people how precious life is. Today I love you just as much as I did a year ago, if not more. (If that’s even possible.) I’m trying to think of things to write to you about, but I know you were here for everything even if I couldn’t see or hear you. It’s almost summer time and I miss going on road trips and eating spitz with you. I still call you once a week just to hear your voice and tell you about my week. I’m going to live in Italy this summer and I promise to eat at least one weird food item just for you and bring you home a can of Fanta! Mariko and I better friends than ever! I know that would make you happy. The city is renaming Adam’s Ice Arena after you! And you still have the most beautiful headstone in the whole cemetery (well in my opinion anyway). The boys are all doing well, going on new adventures and meeting new people but they miss you just the same. I still remember our last moments together, I think deep down in your soul you knew you were going to leave because it was the most perfect goodbye I could have asked for. A bittersweet memory that makes me smile and cry at the same time. I know you’re still here because butterflies always find me as soon as I step outside and the radio always plays our song by Bruce Springsteen when I need it most. The bench down by the lake will always be my favourite memory with you and this summer the boys said they would help me carve our initials into that bench. Everytime I go to a coffee shop, I order Italian Soda and think of so many sweet memories with you. There were so many painful firsts this year and so many firsts that we were supposed to do togeher. Today marks one year without your beautiful smile. Today and tomorrow will be the first anniversary of many. Today I am one year closer to seeing you again.
I love you and miss you always,